Tuesday, April 26, 2005

5 portions of fruit and veg? Pah...

5 portions is for wimps.

Today I have eaten 1 portion of strawberries with my cereal. 4 satsumas. A huge bowl of fresh tomato soup (I guess that must count for something, being made with fresh tomatoes and all). 2 portions of steamed leeks. (Greedy me. The bag was 2 portions, but once it's steamed it's steamed really, so there's no point saving it for another day. And at a mere 86 calories per portion I figured I could cope with eating the lot instead of potatoes). All sorts. Correction. All sorts of fruit and veg. A plain chicken breast, cereal and low fat yoghurt too.

Oh, and some mini creme eggs.

And this is what's wrong with me. Instead of focussing on all the lovely, fresh, healthy, low calorie, low fat food I ate today, I beat myself up because I ate a few mini creme eggs. OK, OK. I ate three. But I figure that only adds up to one normal creme egg, so it's not going to send me straight to fat hell. But still, I tell myself off for doing it.

In one way, I suppose that's good. It shows my conscience is alive, well, and trying to keep me on track. But equally, I wish my conscience would congratulate me for the good things I eat rather than making me feel bad about the rubbish. There's increasingly less of the rubbish anyway, which is good, but when it passes my lips, the guilt starts.

Anyway, I'm trying to be good until Friday, then at the weekend I'll allow myself to eat whatever I want. Well, I'll be on holiday so I'm allowed. Typically I'm going to Budapest, and I've heard that Hungarian food is just about as stodgy and fatty as you can get. But never mind. I've earned it. I've lost nearly (not quite, but nearly) 10% of my body weight. And while I want to kick on and lose even more than that, I can't constantly force myself to stop enjoying myself. It's my holiday. I've earned it. And I'm going to enjoy it. I just hope I can leave my conscience at home.


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