Monday, June 13, 2005

Cruelty to Donkeys?

So, I've lost 40lb (and more significantly, I've kept Saturday's loss, and am still below 100kg. Maybe there's no regain this month?)

My colleagues are really starting to comment (especially my secretary who I hadn't seen for three weeks as we had consecutive holidays) and to say that I look like I've lost loads of weight. I know that I have, because I can see it in the fit of my clothes. Clothes that didn't used to fasten at all, that I could only get remotely near my arse after losing 2 stone. A stone (nearly) further on even they are feeling a teensy tiny bit loose. I know that I'm losing weight. I can see it on the scales, and from a good angle I can see it in the mirror.

But from a bad angle. Well, it just doesn't seem that I've lost any weight at all. I look at photos of me, and I see the same fat person I've always been. And that's what brings home to me the enormity of the job I need to do. And it also brings home the importance of doing it, once and for all. If I look like this 40lb down, what on earth did I look like before. There isn't a great deal of photographic evidence, but it can't be pretty.

This picture isfrom Greece last month (shockingly 6 or 7lb ago - can you believe that!). In some pictures I don't look too bad. Not thin, but vaguely the right shape, even if I do have a bit of padding.

In this one, however, you really feel for the donkey. I misguidedly thought I'd lost weight until I saw the belly and the arse on this. Mine, not the donkey's, clearly. And I probably have, but how much is still there, lurking round my waistline?

In a way, it's good that I'm not celebrating too soon, and the little compliments keep me going. But it brings it home to me that there's no glory in stopping now. Sure, I'm a bit thinner, but I'm still obese, and I need to carry on with this, not reward myself with cake or chocolate.


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