Thursday, July 28, 2005

Everything Fits!

So, I cleared out the wardrobe, and there's nothing in there that's too small. That reminds me just how far I've come, to be at the lowest weight I ever felt it was worth saving clothes for. I'm so proud of myself, and want to banish all those fat clothes for good. I want to hold onto some to give me the visual reminder of how far I've come, but I never want to actually have to wear them.

There are times when even though I see the numbers on the scale changing I don't really appreciate how much weight I've lost. I can compare the numbers I've lost with things I can relate to, and I can take the compliments from other people. But looking down, I can't visualise what my body used to be like, and a lot of the time all I still see is fat in the same places. I know I fit in smaller clothes, but sometimes I don't realise just how much difference there is between the sizes.

Well, trying some of those fat clothes on last night I think I have more of an idea. OK some of the skirts still just about manage to balance on my hips rather than fitting snugly round my waist, but if I pull them up to where they used to sit I see a huge vastness of gap between my body and the clothes. And I just can't believe that I used to fill it.

I never thought of myself as hugely fat before, I just didn't notice it. But now I realise just how bad I must have let it get. I'm just glad I realised when I did, really.


I went out for lunch today, and was so proud of myself. I'd planned for it to be my main meal of the day, and I'd decided I'd let myself have chips for a change, but even so I ended up picking one of the healthiest vegetable wraps on the menu. And then having bought the chips, I didn't even finish them. In a way, I think that took more willpower than not having them in this first place. They were on my plate, they were paid for, but I was full, so I stopped. It's funny, I always used to make sure I cleared my plate but conveniently ignored any salad that was on it. Well, I've finally got out of that mindset, and I feel so much prouder for it.

I think what it taught me is that I can trust myself. It's not a question of trying to stick to certain rules I've made for myself, it's having the confidence that I'll make the right decisions for myself, on a fairly consistent basis. There doesn't necessarily have to be any huge magic to it, just an appreciation that I can do this for myself, by myself, and that I have the intelligence and the common sense to work it out.


Blogger Kery said...

Realizing how much weight I've lost has also always been hard for me. Even 15 kgs lighter, I still see myself as "as fat as before" (while I know that it's not true, and that it's clearly noticeable - by other people, at least). It really takes getting into some of my older clothes to realize that what was snug around my waist before now allows me to slide both fists in it on top of myself, and so on.

At least clothes are a good help to make us more aware of all the way we've walked!

10:24 PM  
Blogger Renee said...

Congrats on the fitting clothes, it's really an accomplishment and a clear sign of how much progress you've made.

1:33 PM  
Blogger MrsDawsondn said...

I completely understand how you feel about The weightloss, GReat blog and yes it does feel great to be able to fit into everything in your closet.

4:20 PM  
Blogger Portuguese Washwoman said...

Oh the blissful idea of being able to clean out the closet and have only clothes that fit inside! Now you've given me a dream to work toward. Granted, I still have about 25 pounds to get to my lowest size as an adult, but that'll happen eventually.

I was standing up yesterday in my office with the door closed and my pants actually *fell* off when I reached for something on a high shelf. I was both embarrassed and estatic.

4:53 PM  

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