Monday, July 25, 2005


How times change. Once upon a time, my idea of a relaxing night in would involve a large slab of chocolate (or even two), a bottle of wine (possibly washed down with a little Baileys), the sofa and the tv.

But, without even trying, I seem to be giving all those things up, slowly and surprisingly.

When I first started this I decided that nothing was forbidden, but that if I started getting cravings I'd try something else first. So at the first chocolate twinge I'd have a piece of fruit, and at the second I'd get chocolate. I carried on like that for a while, and it was only recently that I realised that not only don't I get the second chocolate twinge any more, but I don't even get the first. What I get is a craving for fruit.

Strange but true.

With alcohol, this used to be my big downfall. A bottle of wine a night wasn't unusual, to be honest. Not every night, but not once a month or even once a week either. And half the time I didn't even feel that drunk afterwards, such was my tolerance for it! I used to worry about sliding into alcoholism, and I'd worry that I wouldn't be able to give up. When I started at the gym I used to try not to drink during the week, purely because it would mean that it was harder to get up to work out in the morning. But I'd still drink at the weekends. Then, slowly, I started to lose the will to drink. I found myself turning down drinks. I found myself getting surprisingly drunk, surprisingly quickly. Last night I was out with friends. I was driving, but told myself I'd have one drink before coming home. I chose a red wine, due to its supposed "in moderation" health benefits. Only a small glass, maybe 1/4 of a bottle. And I left half of it. I'd had enough. I didn't need to drink, and it felt like I was forcing myself. This isn't me.

And as for the tv and the sofa. I have sky+ and every week I astound myself with how little there is in my planner. And doubly astound myself when I realise that I haven't watched half of the little I recorded. I just don't sit down in front of the tv any more.

But I am starting to pamper myself. But in a different way. Tonight the plan is to break open my new pilates video, have a nice (hopefully vaguely relaxing) session doing that and then to have a lovely bath complete with candles and a good book. I've recently got re-addicted to Lush. I first fell in love with their products when I was a poor underpaid trainee, and couldn't really afford to spend £2+ a go on bath stuff, no matter how nice it made my skin feel.

But now, I've ventured back into the shop. It might not be cheap, but it's a lot cheaper than a bottle of wine and some chocolate, and it's so much better for me. My body has been working so hard getting rid of all this fat, and my poor legs have been running around all over the place. Why not get as much moisture back into that skin to prevent sagginess and pamper myself at the same time? And if the bath smells of chocolate, then at least it won't set off cravings any more.

It's strange. Since I moved into this house I've had, roughly, 4 baths. Three of those have been in the past week. I can't give all the credit to Lush though, I think it helps that I now feel far more comfortable in the bath, and can put more than a couple of inches in the bath without displacing all the water down the overflow when I put my arse in. And the water now mainly covers my belly, making me all warm and snuggly. And I can look at my body without feelings of shame. Yes, bath time is back, and I'm loving it.

So tonight, and maybe tomorrow, I'm going to pamper myself, in the healthiest way I know.


Blogger Kykaree said...

That reminds me of my first every non scale victory, when I could lie in the bath with no hips touching the side, and could roll over onto my tummy!

I adore Lush!!! I love the bath bombs, and they are a very sound chocolate substitute! When I first moved to Manchester there wasn't one here. I was walking down the road with Colin and and I yelped, they've opend a Lush here! And he said "where?" and I had no idea, but I could smell it, a block later there it was!

I'm not there yet being able to be at ease with my body in the bath, but I'm getting there!!!!

10:34 PM  
Blogger stephanie said...

I love, love, love your stuff. Whenever I come here, I feel like I'm listening to myself, so familiar are the things you say, the things you're going through.
Well, except the 42 pound loss since March. That's wonderful! You've obviously been working really hard; congratulations.

12:35 PM  
Blogger MrsDawsondn said...

You voice alot of my own changes that I have made quite well, Thanks for putting the changes into words for me. It's harder for me to explain. And I used to love taking baths but lately I've been a shower kinda girl because I'm always on the run. I tend to also notice that I don't really care to plop in front of the TV anymore go figure?

4:48 PM  

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