Skinny Minnie
I've had a good today. The scales were pretty much exactly where they were last Sunday, which was a result in a way (by Wednesday they'd gone up pretty much 1lb per day, so at least it's coming down again). But that's nothing, really. What matters is how I look, and how I feel.
I've not really mentioned the rugby thing on here. I watch a lot of rugby league, and I support a number of different clubs. One every week, and a couple more when I can fit them in. One of those two clubs has been missing out a bit this season, I've had other commitments clashing with their games, and I've not made it up there for a while. I have a load of good friends up there, and I haven't seen them for ages.
I will admit that this is partly deliberate. At one point a month or so again I think I could have made it to a game, but a vain part of me wanted to wait until I could make their jaws drop when they saw me, to wait until there really was a visible difference.
Well, I went up there today, and those jaws were on the floor.
It helped that I was wearing my gorgeous Gap jeans. There's no longer a little bulge over the waistband. They fit perfectly. And boy do they make me look thin. The number of double takes I spotted was such a boost to the ego, and the use of the words "thin" and "skinny", rather than just "have you lost weight?" (I noticed this a while back, people changing from asking a question, to people knowing without a doubt, and wanting to know how). One of my friends had a look of amazement almost every time she spotted me.
The one thing I was most proud of, though, was my response. My fat personality would usually say "but I'm still a size 16 and almost 15 stone, I'm nowhere near being skinny, I'm still fat. Obese, even". But today I tried to take the compliments and to try to believe that they were right, and that I am getting thin. Ish. That's something I've never really been able to do before, if someone has complimented me I've assumed they're blind, or deluded. But I'm starting to be more comfortable accepting that I do look different, and better now, and that I've earned the right to accept a compliment or two.
Hopefully this is an important step to silencing the fat voices.
I've not really mentioned the rugby thing on here. I watch a lot of rugby league, and I support a number of different clubs. One every week, and a couple more when I can fit them in. One of those two clubs has been missing out a bit this season, I've had other commitments clashing with their games, and I've not made it up there for a while. I have a load of good friends up there, and I haven't seen them for ages.
I will admit that this is partly deliberate. At one point a month or so again I think I could have made it to a game, but a vain part of me wanted to wait until I could make their jaws drop when they saw me, to wait until there really was a visible difference.
Well, I went up there today, and those jaws were on the floor.
It helped that I was wearing my gorgeous Gap jeans. There's no longer a little bulge over the waistband. They fit perfectly. And boy do they make me look thin. The number of double takes I spotted was such a boost to the ego, and the use of the words "thin" and "skinny", rather than just "have you lost weight?" (I noticed this a while back, people changing from asking a question, to people knowing without a doubt, and wanting to know how). One of my friends had a look of amazement almost every time she spotted me.
The one thing I was most proud of, though, was my response. My fat personality would usually say "but I'm still a size 16 and almost 15 stone, I'm nowhere near being skinny, I'm still fat. Obese, even". But today I tried to take the compliments and to try to believe that they were right, and that I am getting thin. Ish. That's something I've never really been able to do before, if someone has complimented me I've assumed they're blind, or deluded. But I'm starting to be more comfortable accepting that I do look different, and better now, and that I've earned the right to accept a compliment or two.
Hopefully this is an important step to silencing the fat voices.
posted by YP at 10:00 PM
1 Comments:
"The one thing I was most proud of, though, was my response. My fat personality would usually say "but I'm still a size 16 and almost 15 stone, I'm nowhere near being skinny, I'm still fat. Obese, even". But today I tried to take the compliments and to try to believe that they were right, and that I am getting thin. Ish."
This quote is my response when people tell me I look like I've lost weight or if some calls me thin......hmmmmm I think I need to rethink my responses and get out of fat mode. thanks for the encouragement.
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