Wednesday, August 31, 2005


A bit of detective work and I know how much my sister weighs. And I'm close enough to feel that I can get there, that I could be (shock horror) the thin sister. My vague target is less than she weighs. I could do that. The last time that happened must have been when I was about 3. She was smaller than me at any given time, obviously, being 2 years younger, but I was probably less chubby than she was at the same age. Since then, I've always been the fat one. She's been the gorgeous, pretty one, and I've been the lump.

She's 165lb of pure muscle though, to be fair. She's a professional scuba diving instructor, and you wouldn't think to look at her that there's much flab on her. Knowing how much she weighs makes me wonder whether I can make it down to be lighter than she is (particularly as I'm taller). But then I look at my body, and I know that there's fat on there that I can lose. So maybe I can do it.

Speaking of scuba diving, the end of October will be D-day. I'm going to do it, finally. I said half heartedly that I'd learn if I lost 40lb. I lost 40lb and found another excuse not to do it. I can have free lessons, and free diving, but I've always been scared of the thought of my body in a wetsuit.

My mother didn't help, recently, when she said "you won't have to wear the biggest wetsuit now". OK, the weight had already gone, but it reinforced why I've been putting it off for so long. My dad and sister have been running a diving school in Spain for three years and I've always chickened out. OK, so it's not an every day thing, the opportunity only comes up when I'm over there, but still I've had ample opportunity to do it.

But I have to make myself do it. If all goes to plan, I'll be edging into a size 14 by then, and I'll have no wetsuit related excuses left to rely on. You never know, I might even enjoy it.


Today was the big Finnish photoshoot. I'm getting some photos emailed up to me, so hopefully I'll have some nice, professionally taken, photos to share on here in the next few days. I was surprised at how unconcerned I was about the whole process, not trying to hide behind statues to cover up my flab (I've tried that one before for press releases at work...), not constantly trying to suck my stomach in. No, I just went with the flow and enjoyed it.

I still regret the lack of really fat photos of me. A lot of the time I just can't imagine what I used to look like, and I wish I had some proper warts and all photos to remind me of that. The one thing I really wish I had is some sort of cast of my body, preferably hollow, so I could slip inside and get a real visual reminder of what I used to be like.


Blogger kathrynoh said...

There's nothing like a bit of sibling rivalry to get you motivated :)

I'd so be doing the scuba diving, how cool that you can do it for free. I bet you'll love it when you start.

12:50 AM  

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