Monday, August 22, 2005


I really feel like I'm on a roll now. I don't have to think about stuff so much, I just keep on doing what I'm doing and the weight keeps on coming off nicely. Even when I eat a large battered sausage and chip shop chips for lunch, washed down with a little beer. Ah well, it's almost certainly less than a pound so I'm not going to lose sleep over it.

I was talking to Mum in the pub. She keeps on asking me how much more I want to lose. Other people do too. Maybe they don't realise how heavy I was at first, but when I tell them how much I've lost they say that surely I can't have much more left to lose. At first I didn't want to admit the amounts involved to anyone, because it would reveal just how big I had let myself get. It's a bit daunting to come out and say, yes, I'd like to lose 7 or 8 stone. It tells them that you need to lose that amount, and putting it like that could put doubts in the mind of even the most committed person. Can I really lose that amount of weight without doing something drastic? I always just said I didn't know. Realistically, I'd have been happy to get down to where I am today, a fairly standard size 16 in most places, as thin as I've ever been, and merely overweight rather than obese. And 4 and a half stone isn't exactly a minor achievement anyway.

Now I still don't really know, although I have more of an idea, but the whole loss thing has taken on a momentum of its own. It's not a case of deciding what weight I want to be and stopping when I get there. What if I'd decided I really would be happy as a size 16? What would I do now? Would I stop doing what I'm doing, even though I enjoy it and it makes me feel great? Would I try to grind my metabolism to a halt even though it's working like a star and burning off those pounds quicker and more consistently than I ever expected? Would I start trying to eat more than I really need just to stop losing? Of course I wouldn't.

I say it time and time again, but this really is turning into a lifestyle change, and as my lifestyle is now one I'm happy with, and which is keeping me losing, I'd be a fool to stop, even if I'd already lost more than I thought possible. It's almost like I don't have a choice any more - this is just me, and this is my life. I just have to keep on living it, and I'll see where it takes me.


Blogger kathrynoh said...

It's great when these things become second nature instead of having to agonise of every food choice. And why would you want to stop - far better to be fit and healthy and full of life than to "diet" to lose weight then go back to old habits.

12:59 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

I'd be a fool to stop

what would/does "stopping" mean? really, not trying to be cute. the way I look at this thing is, I'm doing now what I'm willing to do for the rest of my life. This path will take me to whatever weight it takes me to. I don't plan on changing things (though of course I reserve the right to revise what I'm doing). So this is why I ask what "stopping" is for you.

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