Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Attack of the Clone

Sometimes being with my mother really winds me up, because she seems to have this deep seated desire to be me.

One of the very best things about losing weight is that I'm buying clothes in shops where she can't find stuff. That's not meant to sound nasty. Actually, it is meant to sound nasty, but not because I want her to be fat, but because I really really hate it when I buy some clothes then find out that she's been shopping and bought exactly the same thing a couple of days later, after she saw mine. She does it time and time again, and it really winds me up. I don't want to be constantly wearing the same clothes as my 51 year old mother (particularly not at the time when I was wearing it in bigger sizes). I know imitation is meant to be the sincerest form of flattery and all that, but please please please buy your own clothes.

Now, it's not so bad. I'm handing down (up?) all the stuff that's too big for me which not only makes me look nice and generous, but solves my issues with how to get rid of all my fat clothes. And it's stuff I'm not wearing any more anyway.

So clothes aren't so much of an issue, but it's spreading. The woman is obsessed with what I eat. She's coming from a mindset that says if you want to lose weight you have a yoghurt for breakfast, a yoghurt for lunch and beans on toast for tea. Or even better skip some meals entirely. So she's constantly amazed at the quantity of stuff I eat and is determined to pick up some "secrets" or something from me. I keep on trying to tell her that it's not that simple, and that what I eat isn't the answer.

She can't exercise like I can. She's older (not that that's an excuse for not doing any exercise) but she's also had pretty serious heart problems in her time. Cardio probably isn't the way to go when you spent your childhood having various forms of open heart surgery. I suspect that running 10k, or even 5 would probably kill her, or at least scar her for life.

But still she tries to replicate what I do, without the most important part. She peers into my bag to look what I've got for breakfast and lunch, she interrogates me as to what I have in the evenings. She bulk buys skinny cows because she once saw me eating one, and it just goes on like that. It's like I'm constantly on display, like a museum exhibition, and it bugs me.

Just because something works for me, it doesn't mean it will work for anyone else. There's nothing special about what I eat, and other people might not lose weight eating it, it's just that there's more exercise added in with it and it works for me. I don't mind talking about what I do and giving other people ideas of what they can add into their own lives, but it just scares me when someone tries so hard to be me but only goes half the way. I'm unique, I don't want to have a replica of me following me round all the time.

I don't want this to sound like I want to condemn her to being fat for the rest of her life, of course I don't. It's just the wholesale copying and obsession that freaks me out. We are different, and that should be a good thing, rather than constantly trying to erase the differences between us.


Blogger Portuguese Washwoman said...

Oy, I understand, I have a friend who does exactly the same thing. And you know, I finally realized part of why it drives me crazy - it's like her attempt to discover my "secret" is almost a put-down in that it downplays my _hard work_ and instead makes it seem like a bit of fairy magic that anyone can get if they only consume the right alchemical formula. It's insulting, actually. That might not be what your Mum is doing, but it's got to be annoying being on display.

Good luck!

6:12 PM  

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