Thursday, September 01, 2005

Inspiring other people

It's strange but I'm almost getting sick of other people telling me how well I'm doing, and saying that I'm inspiring them. There were times at first when I loved to hear it, but now it's just getting repetitive. It's nice getting compliments, but it's odd, my weight and my appearance have never been the most important thing about me, and I don't want them to be now. I want to be more than a one-dimensional shrinking person. I want people to be interested in what I do for fun, not how I'm losing weight. I want people to be interested in me, not what I eat.

And in terms of inspiration, I honestly don't think I'm worthy of that. I'm not doing anything particularly noteworthy or inspirational, I'm just eating decent food and doing exercise. I'm not doing anything more than trying to live a relatively healthy lifestyle and do the amount of exercise that someone my age should do. That shouldn't be hard to stick to, and it isn't, really. It shouldn't be an inspiration, it should be just what people do.

What I'm doing now shouldn't be seen as unusual, noteworthy or impressive. It's a healthier lifestyle, nothing more than that. The only reason that it's led me to lose a lot of weight is because I lost a lot to start with. I'm not proud of giving myself that task to do, and I'd rather never have succeeded like I have so far if that was a result of not getting in that position in the first place. I get annoyed with skinny people who want to lose a couple of pounds thinking that I've got all sorts of secrets that will magically make their pounds melt away.

I don't, and I don't think anyone else does either. There's no secret to what I've done, and there's no magic. I'm not following any strange rules or special plans, I'm just eating better and moving more. Try to explain that and they don't understand. Can't I just pass on the magic potion, the secret?

The other reason I don't want to inspire people is because I'm so near the start of this journey. Losing isn't the issue, it's keeping the weight off that worries me. Maybe if I do that for a decent amount of time, then I'll see myself as successful, but until then I'm just a work in relatively slow progress.

For now, I'm trying just to live like this, and to remember that there's more to life, and in particular more to my life.


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