Monday, November 21, 2005

Bah, Humbug

Still no update on the Christmas party outfit, but I think I've worked out why.

All year I've had this image in my head of turning up to the Christmas party a changed person, and really knocking people dead. Shimmering like a star, dazzing people with the amazing lack of bulge in a sexy little black dress (and control pants). I had it all planned, in my head.

Then things started to go wrong with the plan. Not with my weight as such, although given that everyone has already noticed, the knock em dead effect won't be quite so stunning. Maybe I should have just worn a fat suit for the past few months so that I could do the big dramatic unveiling all at one, like a butterfly emerging suddenly.

One problem is the date, it's very early. Which is the reason I'm banging on about it in November too - 2nd December. Far too early. Earlier than I wanted, not because I think the extra week or two will make any significant difference to my weight, but because I'm quite simply not in the party mood yet, and I'd already got something planned for that weekend that involves the 7.10am train to Edinburgh. Not good for the morning after the night before.

And the theme. I hate themed parties, even more I hate themed Christmas parties. I don't spend Christmas in the UK, so traditionally the office Christmas party has been my traditional Christmas. A nice sit down meal with all the trimmings. Of course, I prefer the real thing with my family on the proper day, but I like the good old fashioned turkey, crackers, christmas pudding, silly hats, bad jokes thing that you just don't get in Spain. Some of the bars where I've eaten Christmas dinner over the past couple of years have tried, but it's just not the same when it's sunny outside (or indeed you are outside).

This year we're not having a team meal at work (or not until January anyway, because too many people have clashing holidays), and we're not having a traditional party. We're having a Wild West theme with a tex mex buffet. No turkey or sprouts in sight. (I don't even like sprouts, but it's not Christmas without them).

I don't want to go to a Wild West night. I want to go to a Christmas party (stamps feet up and down like a spoiled child). I particularly don't want to go to any sort of party that has prizes for fancy dress. It's just wrong. Where does my little black dress fit into that?

I think that much of my malaise in trying to find something to wear has come from the fact that I don't actually want to go. At all. I've tried to force myself to look for stuff to wear, and to get enthusiastic about the prospect, but it just isn't happening. The prospect of a night in with a good book sounds ever more appealing than that.

I've got quite selfish with my indulgences recently. (and they're my indulgences, so why not be selfish about them?) I don't mind going off plan a little for something that I really want to do. A good meal with friends or family, an afternoon in the pub with a load of like minded people. But do I really want to go out and get horribly drunk (because that's the only thing to do at something so horrific as the office Christmas party) with a group of people who I don't actually even like very much. I get on with them OK at work, but there aren't many of them who I'd choose to go out with socially. And spending an evening with them, with some of them possibly in fancy dress, is turning into a vision of hell. I didn't expect losing weight to turn me into the life and soul of the party anyway, but even if it did, I'm not sure that I'd want to be the life and soul of that particular party.

So I'm trying to decide what to do. Do I give myself a big kick up the arse and get myself there, in full drinking mode (which is, to be fair, the only way to get even a sliver of enjoyment out of it, if I'm drunk enough not to cringe at every moment)? Do I turn up half heartedly, not drink, get bored, and slink off home at the earliest opportunity? Do I just stay at home, doing something I want to do (possibly involving decadent Christmas treats from the supermarket), and sod the lot of them? Something tells me that it would be better not to go at all than to go and be miserable, resenting the fact that I've eaten and drunk rubbish for something I didn't even enjoy. But is it just my inner recluse talking, and should I stop being such a misery-guts and try to enjoy myself?


Blogger kathrynoh said...

I'd stay home. But then I hate office Christmas parties with a passion.

9:47 PM  
Blogger K said...

I'd go, because I get so few invites to things that I very rarely say no (that wasn't meant to sound pathetic, just true). But I'm not you. And I've never been to an office Christmas party, so may be underestimating the tackiness.

The second of December is definitely rather early to get in the party mood, in my opinion. You say there's a team meal in January: perhaps you should consider that the important office get-together and skip the big impersonal one.

9:21 AM  
Blogger Shauna said...

tex mex! bah! how tacky! i don't blame you for now wanting to go. how is one sposed to razzle-dazzle in cowboy boots?

(btw, i noticed on the sidebar you're in the 70s... woohoo! good on ya...)

10:48 AM  
Blogger Fatslayer said...

You should go, and tack it up with the best of 'em! Choose yourself a clingy drop dead gorgeous outfit - maybe something a little more racy than your usual attire, and then really go for it!

Personally I'd choose the tart-with-the-heart outfit (she was a staple in all the best wild west movies), and in your best bordello rig-out you can knock 'em dead with your killer new curves and flirt OUTRAGEOUSLY the whole evening.

Later, when sobriety has returned, you can simply say you were staying in character and demonstrating your method acting skills!

5:36 PM  

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