Miss Average
I've been putting off posting this for a while, as though merely uttering the words will make me rocket back up to where I was, overnight. It won't. I'll wake up tomorrow morning as thin as I am today, and I'll wake up this thin on Friday too. So it's time to say it and admit it to myself.
I'm not fat.
I don't think I've ever said that before, not so definitively. I've said I'm thinner, or I'm thin for me, or a million different ways of nearly admitting it, but not the black and white finality of it all.
I saw a survey the other week that says that the average British woman wears a size 14. I wear a size 14, and what's more, I'm edging quickly towards the lower end of the size. Some of my 14s are (gasp) a little loose now, and I can fit in 14s in some of the shops that seem to size smaller than others. I wear a 12 in some things, and the other day I bought a size 10 top because it was the only size they had, and it fit.
I'm coming to realise that I'm "normal" (whatever that means). If you put me in a room full of people who don't know me, my weight isn't an issue. I won't be the thinnest there, but I won't be the fattest either. Indeed, there may be people who don't think I'm fat at all. I've started noticing it at work. I'm thinner than some of the people who I've never even, for one second, thought of as having a weight problem.
I'm lucky not to have horrendous flapping skin to remind me of what used to be. I'm just one of many other people out there who are maybe a little overweight but pretty much there. I'm not stick thin, but I'm not fat either.
I'm not fat.
I'm not fat.
I don't think I've ever said that before, not so definitively. I've said I'm thinner, or I'm thin for me, or a million different ways of nearly admitting it, but not the black and white finality of it all.
I saw a survey the other week that says that the average British woman wears a size 14. I wear a size 14, and what's more, I'm edging quickly towards the lower end of the size. Some of my 14s are (gasp) a little loose now, and I can fit in 14s in some of the shops that seem to size smaller than others. I wear a 12 in some things, and the other day I bought a size 10 top because it was the only size they had, and it fit.
I'm coming to realise that I'm "normal" (whatever that means). If you put me in a room full of people who don't know me, my weight isn't an issue. I won't be the thinnest there, but I won't be the fattest either. Indeed, there may be people who don't think I'm fat at all. I've started noticing it at work. I'm thinner than some of the people who I've never even, for one second, thought of as having a weight problem.
I'm lucky not to have horrendous flapping skin to remind me of what used to be. I'm just one of many other people out there who are maybe a little overweight but pretty much there. I'm not stick thin, but I'm not fat either.
I'm not fat.
posted by YP at 8:10 PM
2 Comments:
You, normal?? Nahhhh! JK! ;D It doesn't seem quite right, does it? Being in a room full of people, and your weight not being an issue, even for you. Mind boggling but true, honey, you're not fat.
Beverly
No, neither you are.
It sounds as though you're good at visualising what you actually look like (I'm desperately trying not to use the words "body image" here...) and that's an excellent thing.
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