Saturday, February 18, 2006

Rebel with a... bottle of salad dressing

My parents are here, and I'm trying hard to avoid falling back into the old patterns I've always been in with them. I can eat well and exercise well so easily while I'm alone, but as soon as they arrive it's like I don't want to let on how much I've changed, and how hard I actually have to work to do this. I seem to want everyone to think that it's easy, effortless, by masking my normal effort behind a weekend reverting to roughly my old ways. Oh, that weight. It just fell off by magic. I hardly had to do a thing. Strange.

In particular, I find it hard to stand up for my right to eat healthy stuff. They come, they want to eat crap. I eat crap with them. I don't go out for my run and I drink.

This has to change.

So last night when they arrived I warned them that I didn't have much food in the house. I've been busy all week and I normally need to go to the supermarket on Saturday morning because I've run out by then, this week is no different. I offered a trip to the supermarket on the way home, but they turned it down. They then blocked my car in by parking on the drive behind it. I assumed that knowing the lack of food in the house we'd be going out before lunch either to somewhere where we could eat out, or to the supermarket.

No such luck. Instead my dad decided that he only wanted to eat at about 3, and my mother had slept late with a headache and also didn't want to eat. Meanwhile I'd forced myself out for a 6 mile run when I got up, and was hungry. I eat a lot, healthy stuff, but a lot. I need the fuel to cope with the exercise I do. So when they decided at 1.30 that food wasn't a priority I flipped.

I stormed out of the house.

On foot, because the car was blocked in.

And I went to the greengrocers.

To buy salad vegetables.

I'm such a rebel...

So I had a delicious spinach, red pepper and bean salad for lunch. And when my parents decided they wanted food later they had a choice. Salad or, well, salad.

They can't say that they weren't warned, and I certainly wasn't going to buy crap for them when I went out on my food mission. If they want crap they can get their own crap. I'm not going to encourage them to bring that stuff into my house. If they don't want to eat what I eat then they can't expect me to sort it out for them. I refuse to fall into those old patterns any more. I'm not just going to be the daughter they've always had, eating what I'm given. I'm going to be an adult who eats what she wants, and who is capable of standing up for her own needs.

I could have had a tin of lentil soup from the cupboard, but I wanted to make a statement. To come out and show how much I've changed. I need to stand up for myself and how I live now. I need to make it clear what sort of person I am now. I need to stop giving up what I want every time something from my old life comes up.

There can't be many people who rebel or stand up for themselves with salad, but it seems that I'm one of them!


Blogger kathrynoh said...

I am so tempted to use that "you can't make friends with salad" song from the Simpsons right now.

One of the joys of living alone is that you don't have to put up with that kind of thing on a daily basis. I can't imagine how I'd cope if I lived with a partner who ate crap in front of me - well, I'd prolly have killed him by now.

Good for you, making your stand with your salad o'independence.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Shauna said...

she's a salad eater and proud of it! that is the best coming out story i've heard in ages! :)

5:30 PM  
Blogger einalem said...

I think when parents live in a different country or don't see you very often, they forget that you're not the 18 y.o. who used to live with them. 14 years later my mum still thinks I sleep till midday, watch Hollyoaks, and will refuse to eat vegetables. The notion that I would get up at 7am on a Sunday morning to go hillwalking with a healthy packed lunch (thus missing the Hollyoaks omnibus) gives her what in psychology terms is known as cognitive dissonance.

6:48 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

It's odd having your parent visit your home when you are an adult. I imagine they probably can't grasp the concept of "the new you" because you don't see them much. I hope your point got across!

7:46 PM  
Blogger VTH said...

einalem and jen hit the nail on the head. it's really hard for parents to see changes in their adult children or sometimes to even admit that their kids are grown up. And it's so easy to revert to being 12 years old in their presence as well. Good for you for not doing so!

4:58 PM  

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