Sunday, May 28, 2006

Beautifying

I feel really cute today, I spent time beautifying this morning after my run with a face mask, new smellies, doing my hair properly and choosing some fab clothes. It's rare that I put that much effort in at the weekend, and I've been walking around in a lovely smelling cloud all day.

The reason for all this effort? Well, I was meeting up with a bloke for coffee. I hesitate to use the word date, because it's a bit more complicated than that, but I wanted to feel confident and gorgeous, and I didn't see why I shouldn't make the effort.

The bloke I was meeting up with me contacted me through an asexuality website I sometimes post on, which gives an indication of some of the non-datey aspects of it. Neither of us are looking for a conventional relationship, for a start, and although we've been emailing each other for a while it's all been on a very non-suggestive, non-emotional level. To be honest, I don't know what he's looking for, and while I'd like companionship from time to time, and to be in a non-sexual relationship with someone who understands, I'm not sure that I'm looking for it from a toy-boy who lives in Southampton.

But still, he was up in Leeds this weekend helping a friend move house, and wanted to meet up. Never one to say no to an excuse for sitting in a cafe whiling away a few hours chatting, I agreed, hence the primping and preening. I didn't want to do it to impress him as such, just to make me feel good about myself. I'm fed up of looking scruffy and shabby, and I wanted to see what I could do with myself if I tried. It's been a while since I've had a good excuse.

And... we got on, but I'm not sure how much "spark" there was between us. We chatted away for a good two hours, and I could have stayed for longer had he not needed to drive back down south for work this evening. He's maybe a bit young, there's a good three years or so between us, and I felt incredibly old sometimes compared to his recently out of university slumming it on floors stories. And he lives in Southampton, which isn't exactly convenient for getting to know each other better. He's actually up in Leeds again in a couple of weeks, but I'll be in London so I won't be seeing him then, whether he stays in touch after today or not.

I don't know, sometimes I think that it would be nice to have someone to share my life and my stories with, but I don't want that person to be the wrong person just because there's a gap in my life and someone, anyone, comes along to fill it. If he's not Mr Right, then I'm in no desperate mood to compromise. This could be a slow burner, but my gut instinct is that it won't be.

Still, it gave me a good opportunity to look gorgeous, so it was worth the couple of hours I spent talking to him!

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