Friday, June 09, 2006

I. Hate. Football.

t's driving me mad. Already. It really is.

I'm really not going to start faking an interest in something I have no interest in the rest of the time, purely because it's "patriotic" to do so. And even if I was going to jump on the car flag waving bandwagon, then why exactly would that make me want to watch countries I have no interest in play a game I have no interest in.

All I wanted was a nice beer garden where I could have a drink or two on my way up to the ground for the rugby tonight. One of my favourite matches of the season - Leeds "away". My team coming to my city to play. A nice civilised walk up to the ground from the office, a couple of drinks in the glorious sunshine, the match and then the bus home. Shouldn't be a problem. Ah. "So you're going to the pub to watch the football then?". No. I'm attempting to find a pub where I can escape the football. I didn't bother in the end, I ended up having a bit of a blissful picnic with a little wine and a good book on the way up, bypassing the overpriced overcrowded overfootballed pubs. Far nicer.

Not to mention the radio. I listen to the radio for music, and to wake me up. Not to listen to endless talk about football. If I wanted football talk I'd listen to a sports channel. Not a music one. And if I wanted constant match updates there are a million and one ways I could get them, through my phone and by changing the station.

What makes it even worse is the contamination of places I deliberately go to be football free. Once during some tournament or other I went to IKEA. It was bliss, almost deserted. I'm actually planning to head back there while the world cup is on for more of the same. Except that, rather than assuming that people who go to IKEA during an England game might be doing it to escape the madness (and if they're really interested, they might have a novel new invention called a radio), they insisted on constantly making tannoy announcements about what was going on.

And as for the quiet coach on the train back from London, after a work trip down there, forget it. Filled with portable tvs and radios and people shouting and screaming. What part of the word quiet didn't they understand? Are those of us who actually quite like a bit of peace and quiet after a long work day to be ignored in the face of the giant juggernaut that is football? There were plenty of other carriages on that train that weren't the quiet coach, but they couldn't go there to make their noise. Oh no.

I'm currently trying to work out football avoidance strategies. I've previously made it through entire tournaments without seeing a single kick (yet have still managed to know far more than I needed to about what's going on due to the saturation coverage in the media), and as far as possible it's the same again.

It's doing my head in. I'm not unpatriotic, I just don't like football. Are people who don't support the GB rugby league team unpatriotic? No, it's just not their sport. I just don't care, it's as simple as that. But that clearly doesn't apply the other way round. I'm a killjoy, a spoilsport, a miseryguts because I don't join in the "fun". But precisely what is the fun in sitting there bored out of my skull when I could be watching a sport I far prefer? I prefer to watch a bit of good, honest commitment rather than overpaid prima donnas kicking a ball around. I prefer to get some of my jobs done, or to go for a run, or to do some cooking, or shopping, or a million and one other things rather than football. Maybe, just maybe, if I was part of a big group making an event of it I'd watch it, but to watch football alone when I could be doing something more constructive and enjoyable? Forget it.

OK, I admit I want England to go out as soon as possible, but it's not out of maliciousness. I just want some sanity to return to the country, and I want it to come back soon. It's driving me mad! Ah well, at least I'll be out of the country for the final if we get that far...


Blogger K said...

I like football, but am avoiding the World Cup as much as possible. As a Scot, I don't care who wins (and no, I'm not supporting whoever is playing against England). I wouldn't mind if England did win, provided that every broadcaster in the country was made to sign an agreement that they wouldn't go on about it constantly for the next forty years. Honestly, guys, we know you won it once! Big deal!

10:32 AM  
Blogger M@rla said...

Too funny. I can't stand American football and all the crap that goes with it. I thought perhaps I might watch your football instead (what we call "maize." I mean "soccer.") but it sounds like there's little difference!

1:34 PM  

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