Saturday, July 08, 2006

The Skinny Jeans Club

Right, I'm heading over to Spain later this evening so this will probably be my last post for a while. To make up for it, I seem to have a bumper batch of ideas in my head.

First of all, assertiveness and priorities. I mentioned that my dad was coming over to stay last night. Yesterday morning he said that he'd like to go over to his mother's for lunch today. I knew he'd want to go over there (he saw them yesterday too), but on the basis that I had jobs to do (and a 16.7 mile run) I said that lunch might not work particularly well for me, and that I'd prefer to go over later if we were going over.

I was out late last night, and when I got in at midnight he told me that he'd arranged for us to go over at 12.30. Amazingly, I stood up for myself! I said that if he wanted to go for lunch, he could, but that I had other plans (which I'd already told him about in the morning), and that if he wanted to go, have lunch then come back for me at about 3 and take me back over there (it's only a couple of miles away), that would work better for me.

Not least because I'm not entirely sure that my grandmother grasps the concept of vegetarianism, and I'd be constantly worrying about what I could eat if she's decided to cook a roast (which is the sort of stuff my dad will have been persuading her to cook, because it's the sort of food he likes - my idea of hell on the other hand!).

So, I went for my run, as I'd planned, I stood up for myself without missing out on seeing my grandparents altogether, and I feel assertive. My stroppiness may have been something to do with the untimely arrival of TOM (although better yesterday than later in the week when I'm away, as at least the worst of it should be gone before I think about putting a bikini on), but I'm glad I stood up for myself, and what's important for me now. My fitness is important for me, and I wasn't skipping that run to save three hours which would have meant I could do my jobs before going over there for lunch. I'd planned that run, and I was going to do it. (And it was a fantastic one too, so I'm glad I did!)

Second - the Skinny Jeans Club. You know, since I got The Jeans I've found myself noticing other people wearing designer jeans far more easily. Once you've been there, you seem to notice them more often (or maybe I just never even thought about them before). anyway, it was dress down day at work so I was wearing my jeans then went straight to the rugby. At the rugby someone actually sat in the seat next to me (it's usually empty). Thin, well made up and turned out, and definitely wearing expensive jeans. A look of acknowledgement passed between us, and we started chatting. She even asked whether I was going out in Wigan later because she was from out of town and wanted someone to show her the "sights". Maybe she'd have talked to the obese me too, I don't know, but something in me doubts it. being the sort of person who is thin, and wears expensive jeans, marked me out as being someone more like her, and we had something in common. Maybe there's nothing in it, but I definitely clocked her jeans, and she definitely clocked mine!

And finally, the biggie. I'll be away for the actual anniversary, so I thought I'd write a little about it now.

2 years.

This time 2 years ago I was sitting here in absolute ignorance about how much my life would change. It really was a snap decision the day I decided to join a gym, 12 July 2004. The idea only got put into my head on the Saturday, and by Monday lunchtime I was clasping a gym membership. If you can pinpoint one moment to change a life (and that's difficult, because even within this process there have been so many mini-moments of insight and re-commitment), that was it. That was the biggie.

It's not been 2 years of slavish devotion to a plan, and there was a three or four month period where I was (shock) gaining weight. But generally it's been a downward trend, and I count it all as one journey, rather than as two.

I don't think the person I was two years ago would recognise me now. Sitting her with renewed confidence, wearing a size 12, going out for 16 mile runs, being vegetarian, and just enjoying living life.

But what I do know, is that the person I was two years ago would have been insanely jealous of the person I am now, and I do prefer the new version of me far more than I liked the old one. I want to do everything in my power to make sure that I'm never that person again. I haven't been that person for two years, and I don't intend to go back.


Blogger Pamela said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:43 PM  
Blogger Pamela @ MyBodyMyBlog said...

Congrats on two years! What a journey. I guess one battle is beginning to really see yourself as the skinny, expensive jeans, well-turned-out person, rather than the obese one. At least that's been a battle for me. Right now I'm at a high weight, but I know changing the internal self-image is tough (am I an obese person who's temporarily skinny? or am I a skinny person who was trapped in an obese person's body?). Anyway, congrats again. Enjoy reading about your journey.

6:44 PM  
Blogger choccycherry said...

Congratulations to you. What a fantastic achievement. I am just at the beginning of my journey. You are a great inspiration to me and I will be reading your blog when times get tough.
Have a lovely time in Spain.

8:51 AM  
Blogger M@rla said...

What a great post. You did so well being assertive with your father. I've found that TOM is when I demand raises at work (and get them) and similar things. It's when I make BIG decisions about my life because I suddenly see it all so clearly. I know most women think TOM is when they are overemotional; I see it as my truer self. I mean, nobody ever complains that when you're at the other end of the cycle, you're acting too passive.

Also like your phrase about "even within this process there have been so many mini-moments of insight and re-commitment." Even if it all started with one big flash, it really is a process, isn't it? Small changes allow more changes. Ooh, that sounds catchy, think I'll work it into my own blog.

12:44 PM  
Blogger Xena said...

Ah yes, the assertiveness card. I'm playing it more and more these days, and could it be coincidence that I've also been taking better care of my body (well, the last 10 days don't count, but I'm back from vacation now :-)). Good for you for standing up for what you needed! You are truly an inspiration, and congrats on the 2 years! Big changes. I'm glad that you started this blog - it's been very motivating for me.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Goal125 said...

I came across your blog, looking for inspiration - and found it! I'm trying to lose weight - what made you decide to become a vegetarian? I'm considering it myself...I was vegetarian for a year once and it healed my asthma - I'm struggling with asthma again, but also struggling with the decision to switch to vegetarian again! Also, lacking the devotion which you so apparently have! How long did it take you to work up to 16 miles? Congrats to you!

3:18 PM  
Blogger K said...

I don't want this to sound mean... but I am slightly disturbed by the Skinny Jeans Club idea. People who are thin, well-made-up and expensively dressed aren't any nicer or more interesting than other sorts - or any less nice either. But it's not exactly the mirror of one's soul. You were just as nice and interesting a person when you were bigger and didn't own designer jeans...

Probably I am taking this too seriously and it all has some reflection of my own present appearance: dressed in jeans that are baggy, torn and lightly mud-coated, no makeup, tousled hair (I've been gardening...) Have a nice time in Spain.

5:55 PM  

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