Monday, August 21, 2006

Too busy

I might be seeing my grandparents, aunt and uncle tomorrow evening, and I'm getting nervous, for two reasons.

First my aunt and uncle. They live in the US, and I haven't seen them for years. I can't remember when I last saw them, but it wasn't recently. At least two years ago, minimum. Which means that the last time I saw them I must have been close to my heaviest.

I used to enjoy the magical reveal, and even delayed seeing people so that transformation would be more impressive when they did see me. But now I'm kind of bored of it, bored of answering the same old questions, even bored of the praise. It's flattering, but I think that as I get more used to my new body and forget what I used to look like it's kind of old news, and not something that I want to talk about all the time. I just want to get on with being me. (Incidentally, I visited some university friends after my race yesterday, and they played it exactly right, hardly a mention of the weight loss other than a single discreet enquiry as to how much I'd lost, then letting the subject drop).

And then my grandparents. I know what they're going to say, I got the pre-cursor to it on the phone today. When I was little they always used to say that my dad was working too hard, and that he needed to eat more. He is the (relatively) thin one in the family and, yes, he did work hard, but that didn't mean that he didn't eat. The subtext, that my mother wasn't looking after him properly, didn't go down well with her. But to my grandmother, being busy means being too busy to eat, which equates to weight loss. For me (or the old me at least) being busy means grabbing pizza on the way home and weight gain, so she never worried about how much I was working for a long time!

Anyway, at the moment I am busy, and I make no apologies for that. But I know that she'll say that I'm doing too much and it's making me too thin, and that I should look after myself better. The ironic thing is that I'm looking after myself better than I ever have. Yes, I'm spending lots of time working and running, but I'm also making sure I'm eating fantastically well, and I'm fitter than I've ever been. I don't see how that equates to not looking after myself, but I guess we just have different outlooks on life.

Thinking back to my last post I guess she does have a point about me trying to do too much, but that's my choice, and if I wasn't doing marathon training I'd be doing something else with that time, I'm sure.

(To be honest I will try not to get too defensive when she starts on about hoping that I'm not going to lose more, because I'm not trying to and I do realise that I don't need to be any thinner than I am at the moment. But - and I'm about to inspire hatred from all over fatblogland - there doesn't seem to be much I can do about it at the moment. No matter how much toast and peanut butter I eat, I'm still losing slowly but surely. I suspect some of it might go back on after the marathon, but for now there is still just a bit of scale movement)

4 Comments:

Blogger Shauna said...

oh man... good luck with the family! i can understand completely how you really can get sick of the 'reveal' and the questions. it would be nice to just move forward...

and it really does seem The Busy Diet is the best thing going. I had a crazy hectic day on friday and barely ate a thing til 4pm when i remembered my lunch... i couldn't believe i'd forgotten about food! really need more days like that ;)

10:58 PM  
Blogger kathrynoh said...

I never thought I'd get sick of the compliments or the comments about my weight loss but a couple of times I've seen acquaintances in the city - people I haven't spoken to in a few years - and have hidden from them because I haven't had the energy to go through it all.

I want toast and peanut butter now.

12:32 AM  
Blogger Xena said...

I would daresay that training for a marathon is not something the typical person would do, and therefore they might think you're wackadoodle for the things you need to do and sacrifice in order to train for it successfully. I have often struggled with well-meaning family and friends when I have decided to undertake a challenge? feat? task? that may seem to require an inordinate amount of time/sacrifice (getting my black belt, going to school while working full-time, etc.), and ultimately I let them make their comments and shrug them off, knowing that they don't really understand the "why" of what I'm doing - I stopped trying to explain.

I think your unintended weight loss will only inspire envy in blogland ;-)

1:23 PM  
Blogger Haloranch said...

You say something like: Dear Grandma, I really appreciate what you're saying and I know you mean well. But I am so happy now that I've lost 100 pounds and I did it through keeping myself busy with exercise. I find I like being busy and training for marathons. I like the person I am today and I hope I can continue to count on your support as I embrace my new lifestyle." Maybe a bit sappy, but you get the picture.

11:12 PM  

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