Maturity
On top of my new adult relationship with alcohol (which seems to be paying dividends in the form of better sleep AND a downward movement in the scales), I'm trying to cultivate a bit of restraint in one of my biggest trigger areas.
Chocolate.
A huge slab of fruit and nut was one of the cornerstones of my obesity. I have one main problem with chocolate. No, not the fact it exists. Simply that I have to eat the lot, no matter how much there is. Back in the good old days of 20g Green and Blacks bars (how I miss those days) I could eat a single bar and it would satisfy me.
But I just can't restrict myself to half a 40g bar. Or even half a 100g bar some of the time. If it's there, and it's open, I will eat it.
For a while my chocolate internet porn of choice has been the Hotel Chocolat website. And lo and behold, what arrived on my desk on Friday but a lovely box of their chocolates from a client. There was absolutely no question of me passing them on (or sharing them...). But there was still the problem of how to stop myself bingeing on them.
Since friday they've been sealed in the kitchen. Inside their wrapping and the nice Hotel Chocolat bag. I was scared to open them because I didn't know what would happen. I wanted to savour them one by one, spreading them out maturely. But I didn't know if I could.
Tonight I opened them and so far so good. I've eaten two (of the smallest ones), and left it at that. I know the weekend will be the real danger time though. I've told myself that if I can deal with them maturely then posh boxes of chocolates might be a more regular treat. But if I binge, that's it, I'm not allowed any in the future. Hopefully that will keep me on track.
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My trainee called me skinny again today. Ha! And I've been chatting to a bloke online (very unlike me, but he's actually quite nice), and sent him my magazine photo and one of the schoolgirl ones, so I'm just lapping up the compliments. I might string him on for a while longer on the basis he'll never find me in real life for me to ruin the image...
Chocolate.
A huge slab of fruit and nut was one of the cornerstones of my obesity. I have one main problem with chocolate. No, not the fact it exists. Simply that I have to eat the lot, no matter how much there is. Back in the good old days of 20g Green and Blacks bars (how I miss those days) I could eat a single bar and it would satisfy me.
But I just can't restrict myself to half a 40g bar. Or even half a 100g bar some of the time. If it's there, and it's open, I will eat it.
For a while my chocolate internet porn of choice has been the Hotel Chocolat website. And lo and behold, what arrived on my desk on Friday but a lovely box of their chocolates from a client. There was absolutely no question of me passing them on (or sharing them...). But there was still the problem of how to stop myself bingeing on them.
Since friday they've been sealed in the kitchen. Inside their wrapping and the nice Hotel Chocolat bag. I was scared to open them because I didn't know what would happen. I wanted to savour them one by one, spreading them out maturely. But I didn't know if I could.
Tonight I opened them and so far so good. I've eaten two (of the smallest ones), and left it at that. I know the weekend will be the real danger time though. I've told myself that if I can deal with them maturely then posh boxes of chocolates might be a more regular treat. But if I binge, that's it, I'm not allowed any in the future. Hopefully that will keep me on track.
------------------------
My trainee called me skinny again today. Ha! And I've been chatting to a bloke online (very unlike me, but he's actually quite nice), and sent him my magazine photo and one of the schoolgirl ones, so I'm just lapping up the compliments. I might string him on for a while longer on the basis he'll never find me in real life for me to ruin the image...
posted by YP at 9:52 PM
3 Comments:
:) good on ya with the new alcohol policy. hotel chocolat rules! my sister bought me a wee bag of their choccies for my bday. i "shared" them with gareth but it was a case of one for him, ten for me!
when does your mag story come out, will you let us know perhaps? don't make me buy every one in the shop :P
Tell me about the chocolate. And tell me about eating the whole lot... it was not a frequent presence in my parental household, but if it was there, it was to be eaten.
To this day I can't help but stare when I see someone put away an unfinished chocolate slab - stare and wonder WHY? Give it to me if you don't want it, lol... Which however does not stop me from wondering why my voluntary chocolate abstentions (which sometimes last months on end) cause a similar reaction in others.
Good luck managing the temptation. :)
Not only is your trainee calling you skinny-you are inspiring one Canadian (me) to walk for one hour daily, which has smashed my weight loss plateau. Thanks for the early Xmas present-how did you know my size?:)).
I'm confident you can enjoy your chocolates in a reasonable fashion. Just put them in a drawer, so you don't have to see them and fanatsize about them.
Thanks again for your excellant blog!
Sincerely,
Carole
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