Sunday, January 21, 2007

Bodysnatchers

Today was another day when it felt like I was living someone else's life. When, precisely did I become the sort of person who gets up early to make some homemade soup to put in a flask so that she has something warm and filling to wait for her at the end of a half marathon. And who then ends up taking 5 minutes of her half marathon PB. (In fact, when did I become someone who even has a half marathon PB?)

And yes, put like that, it seems like hard work. The fact that I work out every day before work. And then work out two nights a week after work as well. And then do long runs at the weekend. The fact that I rarely eat anything that I haven't cooked from real ingredients. The fact that I don't drink for a week because I want to be in top form for my race at the weekend.

But it does get easier. Not physically easier, because I'm still doing the stuff that I was doing before, and I will have to keep on doing them indefinitely. Well, I could take other approaches, I could cut my exercise and cut my calories to compensate, but I have to keep on doing something. But mentally, it is easier. I get myself out of bed without questionning the sanity of going for a run when it's cold or wet or icy. I look at ready meals and don't see the appeal of something that can just be put in the microwave but is made from ingredients which are sometimes not exactly natural. I've learned to stop listening to the voices that say "it's not fair".

Maybe it's just a case of perception sometimes. If you think it's going to be hard, it is hard. If you accept the lifestyle changes and stop complaining about them, just do it without thinking about hard it is, maybe that makes it easier, or at least not so soul destroying to think about forever. And maybe that's what effortlessly thin people do. the more I look at them the more I realise that they do the same stuff I do, in varying amounts, but they don't make an issue of it. They do exercise, and they do eat relatively sensibly, but they accept that as part of their lives rather than something that they want to fight and rebel against.

So I'm glad that when I started this, someone benevolent switched my brain and stopped me thinking about how hard it is, and just let me embrace the changes.

4 Comments:

Blogger Shauna said...

kick ass post :) so wise and true. and congrats on your half PB!

9:45 PM  
Blogger Ali said...

Thanks for the wise words... it makes complete sense. I know a good portion of my problem is the constant negative, whiny voice in my head - but to be honest it never occurred to me that I could train it to stop!

Well done on the excellent race result!!

12:09 PM  
Blogger Alligator said...

Just wanted to tell you how encouraging I've found your blog. It's been especially handy as a distraction when I've felt the need to snack. I love reading it!

5:31 PM  
Blogger Carole said...

I;m reading and loving your blog from Eastern canada! When you have time, could you possibly sneak me a copy of the article about you? I cannot buy the magazine here, or else I would!
Sincerely,
carole
email:ultramar@nbnet.nb.ca

3:24 PM  

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