Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Drained

Just as I got some news that should have perked me up (well, it did, but not for too long, but more of that later), I seem to have hit a slump.

For the last week or so I've tended to pull on my trainers and head out for a run to try to clear my head a bit. I did something stupid like 40+ miles last week. Then over the past couple of days I've been driving all over the place, picking my dad up from the airport, driving people round for the funeral etc, driving back to Leeds (I ended up doing 350 miles in little over 24 hours, which for me is a lot). And I've just run out of energy.

I just feel like I'm dragging myself through to the end of the week. I struggle to get interested in anything, to motivate myself to do anything. I couldn't even motivate myself to change my shoes, put my coat on and leave work earlier, and just ended up sitting there trying to get the energy to move.

I got into work to find a christmas present and card, and a sympathy type card on my chair. It took me until 4pm to actually open them. I didn't run this evening, needless to say. But neither did I make an attempt to start packing to go to Spain on Saturday morning.

The trip seems to have snuck up on me. For a while I was trying to ignore it because I really didn't know whether I'd be able to go, or whether christmas would be spent in hospices in Blackpool. And it's hard to find too much pleasure in the fact that I am going, other than the fact that it might give me the opportunity to clear my head and find some spark again.

Because I need spark. I'm counting down to the start of my next round of marathon training because....

I GOT A PLACE FOR LONDON!!!

I've had the occasional moment of excitement when I filled in my form, or tried to work out travel arrangements, but I'm still strugging a bit to look forward to next year. Hopefully when I get back I'll be ready to throw myself back into training, and part of my thinking behind skipping the run tonight was that I need to make the most of the opportunity to rest before I start training again. But for now, I think I'm back in the place where 26 miles seems like a very long way, and putting myself through all that training again seems like a very stupid idea.

Fingers crossed that when I get some energy back I'll feel a lot more enthusiastic about training for it!

7 Comments:

Blogger Palmer Public Library said...

Go to Spain, relax in the sun. You'll get your whatever-it-is back for running. And just think - LONDON! Happy holidays.

10:20 PM  
Blogger t__m__i said...

Why that's marvellous ! (The London place... durrr). Don't worry about feeling drained - heaven only knows what your cortisol levels are like right now. Best to take it gentle and let things settle, then you'll naturally want to be out and about again!

11:45 PM  
Blogger old_black said...

That's great news for you about London. I've never run a marathon, or trained for a marathon, but I reckon that the level of commitment must be a key factor...maybe 75%. So for such an important event, as the fact of your entry sinks in and your planning becomes more concrete, your feeling of commitment and the enthusiasm and energy will dramatically appear.

2:52 AM  
Blogger Rev said...

Oh man, I am so excited for you about London! I would love that to be my first marathon--it would mean the world to me--but Lord knows that's not possible. So go sit in the sun in Spain and relax. You've been through so much lately that maybe getting a change of scenery will help relax your poor knocked-around soul a bit. You deserve a rest!

And congratulations!!!

4:50 AM  
Blogger Shauna said...

OOOOOOOOOOOOH fab news YP! but take care of your lovely self... relax... recharge! you've had quite a year :)

10:17 AM  
Blogger Kathy said...

Congratulations on the place for London. Enjoy Spain! You'll get your running mojo back in no time.

10:44 AM  
Blogger CEDquiz said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:32 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home