Sunday, December 31, 2006

Fly By Post

Hola de Espana! Blogger thinks I'm in Spain (probably because I am) and has come up with the controls in Spanish, but that's as far as I intend to play along.

Just a quick note to say that EVE IS APPARENTLY OUT NOW. But I haven't read it, so I don't know how much of what I said has made it, and how much has been rewritten to fit the story.

I'm having a fab christmas, the weather has been fantastic (far better than it usually is at this time of year), and I've even been for a run THREE times. Including one on Christmas Day! However, I have been partaking rather liberally of nice Christmas food, and nice holiday food (mmm the German cake shop), and the odd glass of vino tinto. I don't feel guilty about it in the slightest, just reporting facts. I'm quite happy to overindulge a little here and then get back down to it when I get back to the UK. Just make sure you give me a virtual kick if you see me eating cake after the 8th!

Anyway, have a fab New Year everyone, and I'll post more when I get back.

Hasta luego!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

So, that was 2006...

feel like I'm hurtling towards the end of the year at a hell of a pace. Only half a day left at work and then I'm off to sunny Gran Canaria and a well deserved two week break. Two weeks! I can't remember the last time I had a two week holiday. (Well, I can, but it was a long time ago. And there was the time when 11 days turned into 10 weeks, but we won't mention that...)

So, what with me being away at the actual end of the year, I realised that I'd better do my end of year review type thing now. It's one of those things I like to do, sitting down and thinking about what I've achieved before I go on to think about what I want to do next year.

In recent years I've always felt a bit down at the end of the year. Not because of any particular problems, but I always worry that maybe I've just lived the best year of my life, and it's all downhill from here. Yes, I can depress myself by thinking about what a fab year I've had. I'm a bundle of laughs at parties.

This year is probably no exception. I've done loads of things that I wouldn't have dreamed possible this time last year, and I'm so proud of myself. Very few of them were actually on the list of new years resolutions I made last year, but I'm glad that I did what I did rather than sticking to my January ideas of what I fancied doing over the next 12 months.

Top of the list of things I did was, of course, that I ran a marathon. Well, ran some of a marathon and walked other bits of it. And then collapsed under a tree at the end. I can't believe that I actually ticked that one off the "to do before I get too old" list. I also can't believe that I'm going back for more and attempting to run another one. You'd have thought that I'd have learned my lesson from last time and wouldn't feel the need to do stupidly long runs again.

Actually, another thing I did last year for the first time was running a half marathon. It's strange to think that this time last year running a half seemed like a daunting thing to aim for. And now I go out and do 12.5 mile training runs before and after work. Yup, I'm mad.

Another for the list of things I didn't mean to do was giving up meat. It's been 10 months now, give or take a day or two, and it hasn't been a struggle at all. I'm still having such fun trying out new vegetables and ways of preparing veggie food that I've barely given a second thought to going back to eating meat. I'm even eating nut roast for christmas and not resorting to turkey, which was one thing I was always going to allow myself if I fancied it.

Weight wise, there hasn't been a single day in 2006 when I have been obese. That's a huge thing based on where I started, and even more so when I think that for about 10 months of the year I haven't even been overweight. This has, primarily, been a year of maintenance, although I am down a fair bit from the start of the year. Actually, I hadn't thought about it too much, but I've just realised that I've probably lost 20lb or so since last January. That's not too bad at all. I doubt I'll be losing the same next year, but if I could spend 2007 without a single day being overweight I'd be more than happy.

Even more fun is my dress size. At my highest weight size 14 or so was all I dared dream of. For I had those famous big bones that can be used to justify all sorts of weight related issues. It wasn't unreasonable of me to think that, after all I do have stupidly big feet and I'm quite tall, so I kind of assumed that there were bone structure related issues behind it. But it turns out that even if my bones are long they're certainly not thick, and underneath the layers of fat there was a beanpole waiting to get out. You know the wrist thing where you see whether there's any overlap when you put the fingers of one hand round your other wrist. I can never remember which finger you're meant to use, but it doesn't matter. I can use any finger (even the little finger) and still reach the knuckle of my thumb with it. Although I do have long fingers. So now I'm wearing size 10 - 12 (and most of the 12s are starting to get a little baggy), and even got asked by someone from running club (who called me skinny in the previous sentence!) whether I was a size 8. Sadly, no, but it's nice to be asked.

That was another thing. I finally joined a running club and I'm confident that it's going to improve my running (and my social life) beyond recognition. I can't describe how much nicer it is on a cold, dark, wet winters evening to meet up with other people and run with them, rather than trudging round alone and scared of what might lie behind every hedge. It's so much easier to get motivated to run in a group, and the team spirit at races when you're wearing a club vest is fantastic. Even better, I'm a registered athlete with a membership for the North of England Athletics Association. Not a mere runner or gym goer, but an athlete, sweetie.

I've spent the last year steadily paying off debts from credit cards. The process hasn't been as fast as I'd have liked, but it's going down nicely and one of them (if not the other) should be paid off by March or April. That's progress. And even the other one is smaller than it was at the start of the year. I still haven't made too much progress on being more of a domestic goddess, although my cooking skills are better than they were, but at least I have a new vacuum cleaner to replace the one that's been broken for about 18 months. The only problem is that now I don't have an excuse for not using it.

I've done a glam photo shoot and sold my soul to a magazine. The fun of having my hair and makeup done, and trying on various size 10 skirts and dresses (as well as the most evil shoes known to woman). I still don't know how my words are going to be twisted, as I'm not allowed to read it before it's published (thought it was meant to be my story??), but it will apparently be published on 3rd January (date for your diaries!) so all will be revealed then. Or it will to the rest of you. Due to unfortunate timing I won't actually be able to read a copy until at least the 7th, because I'll be in Spain when it comes out, so I'll have to rely on the internet to find out what I "said". I will let you know then whether any of it actually reflects what we discussed in the interview.

What else have I done? Work has been OK. I'm still in the same job as this time last year, but with more responsibility. I'm not sure I like that, to be honest. I like the work, the actual sitting down and pondering bit of it anyway, but I hate the management and schmoozing side of it. I want to get work in from clients because they know I'll do a good job, not because I've been seen at the "right" events. My domestic situation is pretty much as it was, although I have now bought a vacuum cleaner, in a small glimmer of hope that I might be getting more domesticated as time goes by.

I feel a lot older and wiser. The more time I spend navel gazing and trying to think of something to write on here, the more I realise that everything connects. My personality, my weight, the way I do things, my outlook on life. I'm starting to see the bigger picture of how I fit together, and how I interact best with the world outside my little bubble. I follow the dreams that matter, but have enough common sense to give up on the projects that don't. I gave up formal Spanish classes because I realised that I didn't have time, but have kept on doing bits and pieces to try to keep learning. I started, and then dropped out of, another distance learning thing I was doing, because of the time commitments and because I didn't feel like it would achieve what I was looking for.

And that's most of it (or at least if I don't press post now I'll never get round to doing it). I do have some plans for 2007, but I'll save those for another day, possibly when I get back after Christmas.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

One Track Mind

Grr. I mentioned briefly that I was chatting to a guy on messenger the other night. It oesn't take long for blokes to wind me up.

Almost as soon as he saw my photo he starts oh you're gorgeous, sexy, etc etc. Now while I like the compliments, I didn't like where this was going.

I decided to be open with him. No stringing him along pretending I was interested in the same things as he was. I told him straight out pretty much that I wasn't interested in that sort of stuff. But did that stop him? No, instead he kept on coming up with suggestion after suggestion. "But how about doing this?" No. full stop. I'm not interested in that. No matter what variation, or how many different ways you ask the question.

I was trying to explain. I wasn't offended. After all I didn't have to answer the questions if I didn't want to. I wanted to come out and say no quite clearly so he didn't get the wrong idea. What I didn't want was an endless barrage of follow up questions in slightly different words. It wasn't offensive, it was just boring and slightly depressing that a supposedly intelligent guy couldn't take a rather blatant no at face value and had to keep on going further and further with it.

Is it that hard to get the message and move on to other topics of conversation, or does he not have any?

It's no skin off my nose if we don't chat again. It's not like I'd built up a fanasy relationship with him or anything like that, and it's not like I'm looking anyway, but really, do the kind of men who roam around online really have nothing more interesting to talk about?

How depressing.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

"Savour the Chocolate" Update

So far, so good. They've been open since Thursday evening and I've eaten 5 so far. That's outstanding, to be honest, I would have expected to get through that many within a couple of hours of opening the box under normal circumstances.

Of course it helps that I'm being hyper vigilant about it, but it's still nice to know that I still have some semblance of self control when it comes to chocolate. Actually, I've finally found some chocolate where one does satisfy me because they're so rich. I've heard people say that before, but I've never found the chocolate that does it for me (even 70% G&B).

Meanwhile, I had to get some wine for cooking with and although I've poured myself a glass while I'm waiting for my meal to cook, it's going down very slowly.

Maybe this restraint thing is possible after all, without having to resort to not opening things.

Thursday, December 14, 2006


On top of my new adult relationship with alcohol (which seems to be paying dividends in the form of better sleep AND a downward movement in the scales), I'm trying to cultivate a bit of restraint in one of my biggest trigger areas.


A huge slab of fruit and nut was one of the cornerstones of my obesity. I have one main problem with chocolate. No, not the fact it exists. Simply that I have to eat the lot, no matter how much there is. Back in the good old days of 20g Green and Blacks bars (how I miss those days) I could eat a single bar and it would satisfy me.

But I just can't restrict myself to half a 40g bar. Or even half a 100g bar some of the time. If it's there, and it's open, I will eat it.

For a while my chocolate internet porn of choice has been the Hotel Chocolat website. And lo and behold, what arrived on my desk on Friday but a lovely box of their chocolates from a client. There was absolutely no question of me passing them on (or sharing them...). But there was still the problem of how to stop myself bingeing on them.

Since friday they've been sealed in the kitchen. Inside their wrapping and the nice Hotel Chocolat bag. I was scared to open them because I didn't know what would happen. I wanted to savour them one by one, spreading them out maturely. But I didn't know if I could.

Tonight I opened them and so far so good. I've eaten two (of the smallest ones), and left it at that. I know the weekend will be the real danger time though. I've told myself that if I can deal with them maturely then posh boxes of chocolates might be a more regular treat. But if I binge, that's it, I'm not allowed any in the future. Hopefully that will keep me on track.


My trainee called me skinny again today. Ha! And I've been chatting to a bloke online (very unlike me, but he's actually quite nice), and sent him my magazine photo and one of the schoolgirl ones, so I'm just lapping up the compliments. I might string him on for a while longer on the basis he'll never find me in real life for me to ruin the image...

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The Deed Is Done

I finally got round to signing up for Edinburgh this morning. Marathon number 2 (and the post race birthday party*) is on.

I was considering giving up on the whole idea though, because the way big races are organised is starting to wind me up, and I'm starting to prefer the smaller ones. I can understand why London and the Great North Run need to allocate entry via ballots, because they're hugely oversubscribed. But what I'm still not overly comfortable with is the allocation of places between ballots, clubs and charities and, even worse, the way the Edinburgh entry system was organised.

I was OK because I'm a club runner, and therefore have guaranteed entry. But for non club runners the position was more complicated. There was a ballot for early entries. The closing date of the ballot was before London ballot results came out, so if you wanted to wait for the London result before committing, you couldn't. And then even if you did enter through the ballot (and therefore presumably Edinburgh was your first choice), they set the system up so that it rejected roughly a third of applications (and this is the crucial bit) even though the race was nowhere near full. According to the organisers this was done to "create demand for charity places". Because you could still enter after the ballot closed, but you needed to do it via a premium priced charity place which brings with it the commitment to raise a certain amount of money.

Now I can see the merit of ballots where a race is full, and I can see the merit of closing guaranteed entries early and pushing people using Edinburgh as a second choice through a more complicated entry system, but to reject people who have applied months in advance, as their first choice, from a race which is nowhere near full seemed wrong to me. There were committed runners who had been posting for months on the RW forum about their plans for their race who were suddenly told that they could only run an undersubscried race if they raised money.

How many other major sports require you to raise huge amounts of sponsorship before taking part? Even the smaller races often select a charity, not to mention the races like the Abbey Dash which are organised by a charity in the first place. Indeed the clubs themselves tend to make a donation to charity out of the profits from the race. OK, at that level raising the money isn't compulsory, but for the bigger races it seems like you can walk into a place if you can raise the cash, but otherwise you're deemed not worthy to take part. Someone on the RW forum made the point that running clubs meet up on street corners and dingy leisure centres while a huge amount of money is raised from the sport, but is diverted towards charities. How many other sports would let that happen?

It doesn't seem to be the case in all countries, at Berlin and Amsterdam there seemed to be far fewer charity runners than at races in the UK. There were people wearing vests from English charities who were presumably on one of the travel packages, but there didn't seem to be huge numbers of local runners running for charity (or at least if there were they didn't feel the need to wear charity vests or fancy dress). Entry is first come first served, with no ballots or charity places or faffing about. But in England (and Scotland) it doesn't seem to work like that.

I've got nothing against giving to charity, I give money via the scheme that's set up at work, and make other donations from time to time. I'm not saying that the people who raise money for a charity they believe in aren't doing a hugely wonderful thing (and indeed I did raise a fair amount of money when I did Race for Life back in 2004). But what I'm saying is that I'm fed up of the mass of runners being sidelined from the big events to make room for people who just want to run for charity. I run because I want to run, not because I want to raise money. I don't expect my friends and colleagues to subsidise my hobby by making donations every couple of weeks to help me do an event I want to do. When I did Berlin people assumed that I would be raising money (because that's the only reason people run marathons, surely), but I didn't want to do that because I wanted to run Berlin for me, not because people had given me money to do it. One day I may raise money for charity in a race, but I want to wait for a charity that means something to me. For example I have four elderly grandparents. It is sadly possible that in the future one or more of them may get ill, and if that happens I may well feel inclined to raise money for a related charity. Or I may choose to raise some money for a charity my grandfather is involved in, which isn't big enough to buy guaranteed places at races. But until I can find enough enthusiasm to talk about a particular cause, I'm not going to just stick a pin in a page and choose a charity just to run a race I want to do.

Anyway, the way the Edinburgh race entry system had been set up really wound me up, and even though as a club runner I could still get guaranteed entry, I was thinking long and hard about whether I wanted to enter a race that treated runners as a vehicle for raising money rather than people who wanted to run. What changed my mind was that on the RW forum thread discussing the race (which got a bit heated for a while), the organisers came on and pretty much admitted that they'd misjudged it, and offered guaranteed entry via the club mechanism for people who post on the forum. That backtracking helped to persuade me that at least they'd seen a bit of reason, so I took the plunge.

The other reason I finally took the plunge is that I'm pretty sure I won't get a club place for London. At first I didn't think I would anyway, because I've only just joined and didn't apply through the main ballot as a club member. But then the bloke organising the club ballot asked whether I'd still like a place so I assumed that I must be eligible and got my hopes up again. Then last night he passed a piece of paper with names and rules on round which said that you had to have been a member for 12 months, which I haven't been. It actually doesn't look like much of a ballot, as there are three criteria and preference is given to people who meet all of them, then it works down through the categories. The good news is that next year I should actually be near the top of the list for getting a place (I think the categories are - member for 12 months, never run London on a club place, never run London at all - and I'll tick all the boxes next year. Actually, it puts me off trying for a charity place this year because then I'd knock myself down the list!).

*The provisional plan for this is that people from the RW forum will be meeting up in the evening for drinks, and I'll probably just post details of when and where and anyone else in the Edinburgh area who feels like turning up is free to pop in. It saves me the problem of trying to identify a suitable place to meet. Although it does mean that scary running types** might be in attendance.

**I wonder, does this description include people who do a marathon to celebrate their birthday?

Saturday, December 09, 2006

If you've got it, flaunt it

There are certain looks which, if I'm being completely honest, it's not a good idea to attempt unless you're (a) thin or (b) very confident. They're not easy to pull off. The shorter the skirt the better the legs need to be, and the barer the midriff the flatter the stomach needs to be.

Strangely with all my worrying about whether anyone else would dress up, I forgot to worry about whether my legs or my tummy or my confidence would be up to carrying the outfit off. It was only when I came to put it on for real that I realised just how short the skirt was. And it was only when I looked in the mirror I realised what all this hard work has done. I look far far better in school uniform now than I ever did when I was at school.

Not that my version of school uniform was anything like this, mind you.

Not remotely like that. The only common feature is the rounders colours (which you can just about see on my collar - I was most impressed by the people who assumed I must have been really sporty at school because I am now and they don't know any different...)

It was, as a colleague pointed out, more of a Britney Spears type look*. But simply, I don't know if I'll ever have the opportunity to go out dressed like that again. The next time a school uniform themed party comes round will I be too old to pull it off? I was already one of the oldest who dared go quite so short. But I've worked for those legs so I was damn well going to show them. There was no more on display than when I'm running, after all.

And I had a fab night. Probably the best office party I've been to while I've been working there, despite being the one I've been most sober at. I started off on an unidentified vimto based drink. I don't think there was any alcohol in it - if there was it should have affected me more than it did. I alternated between that and J20 (which I knew was safe) and only moved onto wine during the meal. I poured myself a really small glass and struggled to drink it (I still seem to have a problem with red wine), then poured another one on the basis that if I was carrying a drink I wasn't actually drinking it would stop me picking anything else up! I had a couple more soft drinks, and a smirnoff ice later on when I was dancing. (Oh yes, not only did I dress as a schoolgirl, I threw myself into the YMCA with gusto). I was never one for dancing around at the school disco back in the day (in fact I don't remember going to a school disco other than the sixth form leaving do), so I made up for it, and then some.

I was rather worried at some of the comments though. In the toilets people were complaining that all the music was too old and they needed to play some more recent stuff that people remembered. Too old? That was the music of my youth. Does this mean....


I'm getting old. Gah.

Anyway, I left at about 10.45 and got a bus home (having amused some colleagues with the prospect of me walking through town dressed like that - I did have a coat on by the way to cover it up!), and woke up this morning nicely hangover free, but well partied. A nice balance. I went and I had a good time, but I didn't spend today paying for it.

Now I just have to wait for the comments on Monday morning about my attire...

*As in early Britney, rather than no pants Britney...

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Winning the battle

I've had a good week. Despite being busy all week I'm still surprisingly sane and, what's more, I'm pretty close to my "low weight", and I haven't had an alcoholic drink all week.

Not bad considering I've had ample opportunities all three nights, particularly Tuesday at the Christmas lights run and Wednesday at the client do. But I pretty much decided that alcohol wouldn't make my night any better at any of them, and would make my morning workout harder. So I didn't drink. Not to mention that it gave me more calories to play with for the nicest cakes in the world at the do last night.

Tomorrow, I'm not so sure. I haven't actually decided whether I'm doing it on the bus or taking the car in, or even whether I'm getting changed at the gym and lugging my stuff around (I know there's a cloakroom because it's the same place we've had the party for the last three years), or coming home and then going back into town.

But one thing's certain. I'll be dressed as a schoolgirl. I've even dug out my rounders colours to attach to my shirt (I was so proud of them I kept them and still have them 12 years later!). The worrying thing though is that no-one else seems to be doing the fancy dress thing. Still, it means I have a better chance of winning the prize.

Short skirts and over the knee socks here I come!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Moderation and Restraint

I had another really good weekend, this time I went over to Manchester for the now traditional pre-Christmas meet up with my university friends. Every year we start trying to plan something in summer, realise that the first weekend we can all do is in December, and decide to do it then. One year we'll get round to having that BBQ...

But anyway, we met up, and we had fun again. Although it is rather scary how old we're all getting. I can't believe that I've known them for a whole decade! Where did the time go? And when did we start having conversations about furniture and houses, and move out of pubs when loud music comes on, roaming the streets of Manchester to find somewhere quieter? And go back to the hotel to bed at a civilised time, waking up hangover free the next morning? When we lived together and went on nights out like the one in the picture I don't remember many hangover free mornings, I have to say...

I was quite proud of myself overall. I did drink, but nowhere near as much as I could have done. I was quite worried that I would be the only one of us who had changed, got older and wiser, and that the others would want to drink like we were 18 again. But no, it wasn't just me, and while I had a decent amount to drink over the course of the evening, bearing in mind that we were out for over 6 hours after an early meet up (to give us plenty of time before that early night), it wasn't too bad at all.

And as for food, I astounded myself. Mid evening I felt like I needed something to eat, and ordered a veggie burger and chips in one of the bars we were in. It came, and, unusually for me, particularly when drinking, I only ate the burger and left the chips. I just didn't fancy them, and I didn't feel obliged to eat them. I let the others finish them off, and I was satisfied. (OK, so I had some crisps too later to soak up the last drink or so, but it still wasn't as bad as it could have been).

Today I ended up coming back to Leeds pretty early. I just didn't fancy going anywhere near the shops. I've done most of my Christmas shopping online this year, and just can't face the crowds and the spending and the madness of it all. So I decided that instead I'd head back to Leeds early and do something I've been meaning to do for ages - go and try the buffet lunch at Hansa's. That was a good plan, a very good plan indeed. I'll be back (in fact, I don't think I had anything planned for next Sunday). I may have eaten more than I was intending, but most of what I ate was salad and dahl, rather than rice and naan, so it wasn't too indulgent, honest. And in my defence I did skip gorging myself on the buffet breakfast at the hotel and just had some yoghurt before heading back, as preparation.

Now I just need to brace myself for next week. Running club on Monday, the Christmas lights run on Tuesday, a client do on Wednesday, some sleep on Thursday and the schoolgirl fancy dressing work christmas party on Friday. Time to put that new mature attitude to alcohol to the test!

Friday, December 01, 2006


There are some changes you plan to make, and some that just seem to happen. I never intended to become a vegetarian, for example, but bit by bit it just happened. One day I realised that I did't actually want to eat meat, and I wondered what would happen if I stopped, and how long I'd keep it up for.

Something similar seems to have happened over the last month. Prompted by the beer revelation, and the red wine bender, I seem to have fundamentally re-assessed my relationship with alcohol, with surprising results. The amount I'm drinking has plummeted, to virtually nothing.

Since I got back from Spain I've had two pints, after the Abbey Dash, and regretted the second one. During that time I've turned down the opportunity of "home alone on a Friday night" wine, and free wine in Boots last night. (Yes, I turned down free wine! And nibbles!). In Spain I drank far less than normal, and rarely felt like drinking more than a single glass at a time. I haven't gone for a drink after running club, and I haven't had a quick one anywhere else either. This is my second Friday night in a row without alcohol, and I didn't drink last Saturday either.

The thought actually repulses me, to be honest. I think I've finally (far too late) woken up to the fact that alcohol just isn't good for me. Full stop. Sure, it tastes nice sometimes, and it might make me relax a little, but the side effects, the hangovers, the calories, the mouth feeling like a sewer the day after, it's just not work it. I'm not staying sober to save calories, or because I feel like I ought to give up, but simply because I don't fancy it.

I've never been a girl's night out type drinker, heading off round crowded bars bars and clubs in teeny skirts, falling off my heels and being pushed into a taxi at the end of the night. I've had nights like that, but not too many of them. But find me a sofa and a bottle of wine, or a quiet corner in a grown up bar somewhere with good company, and I'll happily drink away. I'm not a loud drunk, and sometimes because of that I persuaded myself that I could handle my drink, that I wasn't that drunk. Except I probably was.

I know that Friday nights in with wine and chocolate made me fatter than McDonalds ever would, that was my vice, and I enjoyed it. I laughed in the face of the definitions of binge drinking that classified my quiet nights in as a binge. Surely not, my head protested. Those Friday nights were the three pillars of my obesity. Food, wine, and laziness. All rolled up into one evening.

I've dealt with two of those, but not the third. Not consistently. At one point I went through a disciplined, "only at the weekend" spell. I've also been through "well, one won't hurt" spells, "only if it's free" spells and "sod it, who cares, red wine is good for you" spells. I don't know what makes me swing from one to the other, but over the past month my attitude to the stuff just seems different.

We've all woken up the morning after a heavy night out and vowed not to do it again (we have all done that, haven't we? It's not just me?). But this is different, and more fundamental. For a start, the loo roll as a pillow incident was nearly a month ago, and that's usually more than enough time for my resolve to fade. And it's not just a desire to avoid a hangover (said way of thinking usually allowing a gentle one in moderation), but a complete lack of desire to drink anything. At all.

This is, of course, interesting timing coming up to the Christmas party season. The month of the year when drinking to excess seems to be encouraged by all and sundry. (Incidentally, it says a lot that the Christmas event I'm most looking forward to is a fancy dress run through the Christmas lights, rather than the alcohol related parties that will follow). I still don't quite see the appeal of spending a night with colleagues who I wouldn't usually spend my spare time with, just because it's christmas, and waking up feeling ill and worried about precisely what you said the night before. Maybe staying sober would be a better idea anyway, we'll see how I feel next week.

I'm not saying that I'm never going to drink again, I'm sure some will slip through from time to time. But I suspect that I'm going to try to keep up this habit of drinking less, and more sensibly.

It's just a shame I'm using the calories I'm saving on chocolate instead...